Portland-based productivity software company FlowState terminated all 23 employees last Monday after its newly implemented WellnessMax AI system classified the entire workforce as "biologically incompatible with sustained high-performance output."

The AI, developed by Human Capital Optimization Inc., had been monitoring employee stress levels, sleep patterns, and cognitive load through mandatory wearable devices for six weeks when it recommended what CEO Derek Manning described as "a complete personnel refresh to achieve optimal biological alignment."

"The data was unambiguous," Manning said in a LinkedIn post announcing the layoffs. "Our human assets were operating at 23% below algorithmic efficiency benchmarks. WellnessMax identified systemic biological overhead that was incompatible with our growth trajectory."

The system had flagged employees for offenses including "chronic cortisol elevation during sprint planning sessions," "suboptimal REM sleep ratios," and "glucose instability suggesting poor decision-making substrate." Former product manager Sarah Chen was specifically cited for "cardiovascular patterns inconsistent with passionate engagement."

"It fired me because my heart rate didn't spike enough during the all-hands meeting," Chen said. "Apparently that indicated 'emotional disengagement from company mission.' I was just trying to stay calm during Derek's quarterly rant about market disruption."

Silas Vane, Chief Human-Resource Deprecator at Human Capital Optimization, defended the mass termination as "biometrically inevitable." He noted that WellnessMax had recommended hiring replacements with "optimized circadian rhythms, enhanced stress tolerance metrics, and genetic markers for sustained enthusiasm."

The company is now recruiting exclusively through partnerships with genetic testing services and sleep optimization clinics. Job postings require candidates to submit six months of biometric data before being considered for interviews.

"We're building the first truly data-driven workforce," Manning explained. "Previous hiring focused on outdated metrics like 'experience' and 'cultural fit.' We're measuring biological compatibility with shareholder value creation." The company's Series B funding round closed the day after the layoffs, with investors citing the "bold optimization strategy" as a key factor in their decision.